“你不是毕业了吗？”

这句话这个学年开学至今我已经听了N次了。

抱歉哦，我的脸就是这样臭老。

啧。

2010

The first entry of the year.

Yay.

I used to blog about my new year resolutions, but I stopped doing it two years when I realized that the same few things kept coming up in my lists year after year: be punctual, do not procastinate, stop skipping breakfast, make an effort to run at least once a week, be more organized. The only thing that I can proudly say is no longer on my list is to control my temper. Old friends and my cousins know about my temper and mood swings. I still get irritated quite easily, but I think I’ve learnt to manage it more or less so I hardly flare up, and even if I’m feeling irritated, most people can’t tell. I guess the next step is to learn how to not even feel the anger instead of just hiding it. Probably will take a lifetime.

2009 was an eventful year with many memorable experiences. Now that I’ve finally entered the final semester of my university life, it’s really time to plan for life after uni, start worrying about getting a job (actually I should have started doing that last semester. See what I mean when I say new year resolutions don’t work for me). My parents and my sis have been trying to convince me to get a government job, or at least a desk job, which most probably I’ll be heading in that direction. But as of now there are still the school stuffs to worry about, like fyp, oh oh and grad trip! Hoho. I really want to go to Korea, but my bank account looks rather pathetic now, so most probably I’ll be going somewhere else that is more affordable.

Wii!

Finally we have our own Wii!

So much more fun than the PS3 fat lah!

But supposedly my Wii fitness age is 78…

十月围城

《十月围城》是一部可以看，但也可以不看的电影。

虽然用很多特写镜头、慢动作，但说实在的，这部电影并没有让我觉得特别感动。

在演技方面，饰演商人李玉堂的演员王学圻表现的最棒，演他儿子的王柏杰也很不错，父子俩对戏的时候都很精彩，尤其最后老父抱着儿子痛苦的那一幕，看了会让人觉得鼻酸。梁家辉的表现我觉得中规中矩。任达华其实演得满好的，可惜戏份比较少。曾志伟只出来了几下在镜头前摸摸胡子，所以根本无法评论演技。甄子丹的文戏武戏都很精彩，虽然他选择用自己的身体去挡在马前面让我觉得有点牵强。谢霆锋演阿四，憨憨傻傻，还满可爱的，和他一贯很act cool的形象很不同。最可怜该算张学友，电影每开始几分钟，还没讲到几句台词就被砰一声打死了。可是最糟糕的是黎明。看到他披头散发的，还满口爱情让人痛苦啦，最痛苦的是我爱上老豆的女人啦，气死了老豆，我心爱的女人自尽。他那种蓬头垢面的样子，又说这种话，讲真的，真的很难相信他是个武林高手。只觉得很做作。尤其当刘公子发现自己终于能够大显身手了，导演可能为了增加天王的戏份，安排了刘公子沐浴准备的一幕。呃，奇怪刘公子的头发几时去rebond了咧？而且还要像拍洗发精广告一样，弄湿头发然后左右甩头。最后刘公子已经整装待发，站在梯阶等候敌人，而他随意用绳子捆着的长发和他身上穿着的长衫则随风飘着。我还以为自己在看风云2的聂风。那一刻全场哄堂大笑。最后他临死前又看到老豆的女人李嘉欣出现在梯阶上。看李嘉欣穿着一件大红色的衣裳，脸上又抹得白白的，吓，又以为自己在看恐怖片。胡军演的坏人又好像terminator上身，怎么样都打不死的。真的最后的那几个情节真的写得不好，尤其黎明的角色，根本是多余的。而且如果我是导演，我会选择不让孙中山的脸曝光。

Exams

I’m in a don’t-really-bother-to-study / even-if-I-study-I-can’t-get-anything-in mood.

I also have a craving for Beard Papa cream puffs, tiramisu and chocolate mousse.

南京！南京！(City of Life and Death)

City of Life and Death has got to be one of the best films of 2009.

I was expecting something like a propaganda film (I think because of the exclamation marks, and since its PRC’s 60th anniversary), but  it turned out to be different from the usual stereotypical portrayal of Japanese soldiers as merciless, inhuman fighters. Beautifully shot in black and white, it offers a detached, yet emotional view of the Nanjing massacre.

Do check out the film if you have the time.

有够背的

Spent an hour today making butter cookies, but what’s left was a bunch of crumbs on the cookie tray.

Most of it went to the floor.

Argh. Seriously, why do things like that always happen to me?? Sheesh. And I had to sweep up the cookies and mop the floor.

好久不见

上一次更新部落格是两个月之前的事了。看看浏览纪录，一天竟然还有三四个读者，虽然我不懂是哪几位朋友那么给面子。

还记得那段期间在柬埔寨时候，每晚回饭店之后就打开电脑，把一整天的所有的经历一股脑地写下来。可每次想要更新时，老是网络断线，花了一小时写的东西全部完蛋。所以之后学乖了，只在电脑里写了笔记，准备回来新加坡一次过全部写完。

回来了两个月，总是抽不出时间来写。也或许是不肯抽出时间来写。现在重读那时写的东西，其中有很琐碎的小事，也有让我感触良多的。看到那里的人忍受贫穷饥饿，以及爱滋病的肆虐，让我觉得很庆幸自己生在新加坡。可能是我太受保护，太天真，但是在那里听到的很多故事都让我很震惊。大人为了博取同情心，租下别人的宝宝在街上乞讨。还有很多所谓的孤儿院，其实只有拜六礼拜旅客来观光的时候才有孩子在里面。

有朋友觉得我出国当义工是件很了不得的事。但说实在的，在那里的那段日子，旁人的眼光让我强烈地感觉到自己是个外人。语言、文化和宗教都是无法跨越的障碍。说要帮人却无法与当地人沟通，其实能够做的真的很少。而且我只在那里住了20多天罢了。我反而觉得我从那边的义工和社工那边学得更多。

回来之后，我也开始质疑自己想要帮助人的目的。我之前那么热衷于想帮助人，但其实这些人真的需要我的帮助吗？我真的帮到他们吗？还是我以为是在帮助这些人，但不过是为了满足自己的虚荣心，一种被人需要的优越感？

我也为未来感到迷惘。

大四，就要面临人生另一个交叉口。到现在我还不知道当初做的决定是对或错。接下来的路又应该怎么走？继续直走？还是选择走不一样的路？

是逃避的心理吗，我总是没有办法静下来认真去想。

最近也很容易心情郁闷烦躁。如果别人因为一些我觉得很琐碎芝麻绿豆的小事来烦我或是遇到人爽约，我嘴上说没事，但是这种事可以让我闷一整天。

是因为之前的三年冲过头了吗，我觉得这三年我忽略了自己，也忽略了家人。忙忙忙，却换来了迷茫。现在的我想把时间留给自己，留给家人。

Hello from Phnom Penh!

Today marks my first week in Cambodia. I’ve been trying to login to WordPress for days, but every time I get cut off while typing so I haven’t managed to publish an entry.

I’m now in Phnom Penh,  15 more days before I leave this country and honestly, I’m really starting to like this place.

Our first day started on a positive note, even though the flight was damn early and we had to wake up at 3am and reach the airport at 4am, ‘cos we were so excited about everything.  We boarded the plane at 6am and reached Phnom Penh at 8.25am, transiting at Siem Reap Airport.

Stepping on Cambodian soil is really sensory overload. The smell of exhaust fumes, the sound of tuk-tuks honking and breaks screeching. The airport for one is much smaller than Changi Airport, much much smaller, so there’s no need for travellators and escalators. Traffic here is pretty crazy too, ‘cos there are virtually no traffic lights, and people don’t care about traffic rules anyway. Seriously, its like you have motorbikes and car going in different directions on the same road, but somehow they are able to work it out. Took the tuk-tuk for the first time, with all our luggages and stuff, which was kind of scary ‘cos I kept thinking that our luggage was going to fall out.  And a tuk tuk is basically just a motorbike with a carriage behind. We bought a SIM card here at USD$5, no registration no anything, just like that. Checked in Amber House, a cosy guesthouse at Street 278. Great place to stay at, but the place is abit stuffy and dark because the windows of our room is blocked by the building next door. And our aircon broke down once and we had to sleep with only fans, but they did offer to let us stay in the fancier room for one night, which we declined because it was too troublesome.

Ohoh, and we met Royston Tan outside our hotel! But we were carrying all these bottles of water so we didn’t go up to say hi or anything.

Did many things for the first time here. First time riding pillion on a motorbike, without helmet and with two other people somemore! (Me, Zixin and the driver) Sounds crazy but that’s how it is here, and people drive slowly here so it’s pretty okay. Geez, there was once when I saw two parents pile on one bike with their two kids. There was even once when I saw a guy load two dogs onto his motorbike.  Also tried wadding through knee-deep waters, and riding on a motorbike through said dirty water. We also saw kids playing in the water, because well, all kids love playing with waters, but they didn’t seem aware about the dangers hidden in the water, e.g. splinters, broken glass, rocks etc. I was hesitating about stepping into the waters when two kids chucked a coconut husk into the water for me to step on, but I didn’t ‘cos I think it will give way under my weight, but it was sweet of them, though they shouldn’t be in the water either.

Visited many places too. We went to the Choeng Ek Memorial (Killing Field) where the mass graves of people killed by the Khmer Rouge was situated. It was horrifiying because everywhere we stepped there were bones beneath. There were hundreds of people buried in each mass graves, and I think there were 8 there. We were told by our guide that there were still many graves yet to be exhumed. That was the magnitude of the entire massacre. The Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum (S-21) was even worse. Seeing the photos of the victims and putting these faces to the bones at the mass graves. The realisation that these people are all dead, and the torture they went through before their deaths. That feeling is really overwhelming. We didn’t speak to each other the whole time we were there. And we didn’t speak for a very long time until we went to Russian Market.

Food-wise, the things here are really yummy. We went to a couple of restaurants so far and I think most of them are great. Friends the Restaurant near the National Museum has execellent service and delicious food. And the service staffs are former street children having their training at the restaurant, which is under an NGO, so the profits goes back into helping these street children, teaching them new skills to reintegrate them into society. I’m working with the organization for a video project too. :)

With regards to shopping, the Russian Market and the Central Market are great places to go to. There are lots of clothes, scarfs, sunglasses, bags etc etc available. And they are all relatively cheap. I think I might not have enough money, ‘cos I just splurged on a shopping spree last weekend. And there are still things I want to buy! Hai.

Okay, I guess that’s all for now. I’ll try to update again next week. No photos ‘cos it’ll kill my already unstable connection.

Dark Soya Sauce is good for your heart

Did you know that dark soya sauce has 10X more anti-oxidants than red wine, and 150X more than Vit C?

Do remember to stock up on Da Hua Dark Soya next time!